I am not sure how much longer I will be on line here because I may either have to go underground or the worst case scenario is that I may be on an all expenses  paid  vacation courtesy the government in Guantanimo.   Perhaps if I come clean here and make a full confession I can plea bargain a deal and end up with a light sentence.  All this broo ha ha about Paula Deen’s comments and the NSA and big brother looking over our shoulder every minute, it is a sure thing that I have been found out.

I would like to beg the forgiveness of the lady at the health insurance company for losing my temper but I am totally exasperated with the company.  I wrangled with them some time ago just to get an approval for the MRI on my shoulder with an approval, denial, approval finally only with my surgeon calling personally.  Now for some reason that even our local insurance representative doesn’t know why I do not get any EOB statements from the insurance company.  Their records say that they send them out to me and they have the mailing address correct but since January 1 I have been black listed.

Doing the diet thing again.  Urgh!  I am such a seasoned veteran on the war against cellulite that if I wore all my combats medals my chest would look like Audie Murphy's.   Portion control is what it's all about I know.  They say a "lean protein" portion should be the size of a deck of cards.  Tarot cards...they are a nice size, but wait I have decided to gauge my portion on the size of a deck flash cards for severely nearsighted first grader!  

It is so reassuring as a wife when your husband thinks you are one of the worlds great brain trusts. I always try and make my answers sound reasonably knowledgeable when he asks questions about how to remove an appendix or how many signers of the Declaration of Independence were actually cross dressers . This morning I was required to tap into the entomology section of the old brain hard drive.

We have the summer crop of those little ants. I call them "Piss Ants" and they are so aggravating because they get into things even when you are really careful and keep them covered.

Farmers are innovators and able to use whatever they have on hand to make things work. A washer here, some bailing wire there, a bit of duct tape and the plane is ready to fly to Paris. I had this verified yesterday.

I forgot to run the dishwasher before I left yesterday morning.

When Leslie swung in from the field last night just long enough to eat a bite he tells me he ran the dishwasher.

I tell him thanks for doing that. He is thoughtful that way. He says "you are out of the dishwasher soap in the box".

I have posted here that Leslie has on occasion fallen out of bed. Well things come back to haunt you because I fell out of bed myself last night. This happened while I was having a dream about being at some kind of outdoor summer soiree. I dreamed that the sun was so hot I simply had to get indoors or I was going to faint (apparently my body systems were gearing up for a hot flash) in any event

I tumbled out of bed onto the floor knocking over my jewelry armoire and resting on the floor on top of the armoire legs between the bed and the wall.

We are pet parents down here on the farm to a Sheltie named Poppy.  I frequently post Poppy happenings on Facebook in the "Poppy Puppy Report".  I have even had strangers come up to me and tell me that they read the PPR on Facebook so I thought it only fitting to include them here.  You know how parents brag on their kids.

Poppy Puppy Report: Well the new Pet Smart is open in Martinsville and Poppy's mom brought home a new puppy toy to mark the occasion. It is a plush flat raccoon. At first Poppy wasn't too sure about it but after a few minutes she was carrying him around everywhere and shaking him. We call him "George Coonie". He has a squeaker in his head and his tail. This morning she was chewing on him and he squeaked. It scared her. She checked all over him...I think she thought he was hurt. I always knewGeorge "Coonie" was a sensitive guy   that wasn't afraid to cry... :)

Well here is my first new blog post on my website.  I have moved old blog posts over from my previous blog.  I hope to post more frequently and keep you updated with the Down on the Farm Happenings.

I do have to say that Leslie is having a hard time dealing with the new Facebook information age.  He doesn't do Facebook so he is not friend but foe.  The other day he was telling me some news and after he was finished I just said "Yes I know about that.  She posted that on Facebook".

A Hoosier Redneck’s Review of the Royal Wedding

 

            I bet you are wondering how we managed to be invited to the wedding of this century, well as the American trailer park style reporter I attended as a special envoy.  I of course took Leslie as my escort in ascot.  The crowds up the street are amazing.  Leslie said it reminded him of the Snake Pit years ago at the 500. Here we sit in the big church.  Am I ever glad that I brought bigger cushions for us to sit .